The Wall
by MerodM
Summary: Oneshot. Harry visits the memorial room in Thames House to reflect on the lives lost to Section D over the years.


Another name

Another life lost

Another phone call to a relative explaining that their loved one had died

Another desk to have packed up by Internal Services

Another visit to the wall

In his 17 years as Head of Section D, Sir Harry Pearce had made frequent trips to the glass wall, housed inside a concealed metal shed on the roof of Thames House. The name of every officer lost in service etched into it, some were from his section, and others he'd heard of but never met. The list was ever expansive; they'd already lost four officers that year alone. One from Section A and one from Section F, then Tariq and then Ruth

He couldn't gaze over her name often, the pain was still raw. As it was for the others he'd lost, the ones who'd given their lives in service to the phrase Regnum Defende. Whenever he thought of that phrase now, Harry thought back to his final encounter with John Bateman, the man he'd known for so many years as Lucas North on the council estate rooftop just a few months before. He'd said it to convince him that the death of Maya Lahan had been for the greater good, her death was part of a greater sacrifice. Needless to say, Harry knew the phrase hadn't worked on Bateman and mere minutes later he'd jumped from the roof to his death. Another life lost.

Going back over the last decade, Section D had lost 13 officers in the line of duty. 13 times he'd had to write a report about their deaths, 13 times he'd had to call Internal Services to clear their desks, 13 times he'd had to inform the next of kin, 11 times he'd had to request their name be etched on the glass wall.

Firstly, there had been Helen. Helen Flynn had been an Administrative Officer with Section D for just four months. Her job was to write and collect reports, file data and pass it to the write people. She was more a civil servant than a spy. However, she wanted to, could have been so much more. Helen had been eager to volunteer to be Tom's partner on the Osbourne operation, that bright spark and tenacity was a rare quality. Robert Osbourne, the racist fanatic they'd been watching had been clever, he'd caught them out on their cover story. He'd kidnapped her and Tom, shoved her hand into a deep fat fryer to force Tom to talk, followed by her head. Then he shot her in the head, recounting the death later on, Tom said it was the worst experience he'd endured during his time in MI5. Helen died in the most grotesque manner, Harry had taken revenge by having Osbourne assassinated but that still didn't bring her back, didn't bring back the young talent that could have gone so far. The phone call to her father had been difficult, to hear the devastation that his young daughter was dead. Of course, he'd had to tell him the truth about her death, there was no other way to explain hand and facial burns in addition to a bullet in the head.

Danny Hunter had died some years later. Danny had died a hero's death, sacrificing himself to save a fellow officer. Bravery hardly began to explain the actions he'd displayed. Danny had been on the Grid for four years at the time of his death, he'd been appointed to the section just after Tom Quinn had replaced Lucas North as Section Chief. He'd spent most of his time as Tom's second in command, the Robin to his Batman. He'd been highly capable, brave and upright. He'd also been Helen's flatmate, and then Zoe's after her death. Harry wasn't sure if there was something going on between Helen and Danny, he'd known that Danny had been the victim of unrequited love from Zoe. Perhaps she'd known, perhaps she hadn't, he hadn't been lucky with her. That still hadn't stopped him from working; he'd carried on, better than Harry had done when Ruth had to depart. When Danny and Fiona had been kidnapped by Iraqi terrorists, he'd been resolute. They had tried to escape, killed one of the captors but were captured again. The terrorist leader had demanded that Adam, the new Section Chief choose between Fiona, his wife and Danny, his best officer. Danny had gone out in a blaze of glory, provoking the terrorist with a passionate speech annihilating the concept of terrorism into killing him to spare Adam the awful choice and to save Fiona's life. Danny wouldn't have had it any other way.

Fiona had been next, just a few months after Danny; Fiona Carter was gifted and talented. An expert in undercover operations with her flair for acting and an expert on Middle East politics, above all she'd consider herself a wife and mother. Adam and Fiona had a happy marriage, blessed by their son Wes. Harry himself knew that children and spying did not mix, if you died on an operation, the child loses a parent or you dedicate yourself to your career, and your child loses a parent in a metaphorical sense. She'd narrowly escaped death the previous year when Danny had sacrificed himself for her, despite her grief she'd carried on working. It was when her ex husband, Farook Sukkareih had returned and kidnapped her in an attempt to force her back to Syria that Fiona met her end. She'd escaped, but had been shot by Farook in the process. Fiona died in her husband's arms. A tragic way to die, a wife and mother lost. It had a devastating effect on Adam; Harry had considered whether to decommission him like he had Tom Quinn for a much lesser reason. Adam returned, bruised but not out.

The death of Colin Wells had shocked Harry the most, he'd perished following an attempt by rogue MI6 officers and establishment members to control the Prime Minister and establish a de facto dictatorship in the UK. Colin was their technician and gadget master, a geek in every sense of the word; however he'd wanted to be a field officer with Adam, Zaf and Jo. He had potential; Harry had sent him out into the field to test him, spying on some MI6 officers involved with the plot. They'd captured him and hung him from a tree. The thing that got Harry the most about his death was that Colin had been killed by people supposedly on their side, not enemies. Colin had died in a horrible manner, like Helen retribution had been given, after the coup attempt had been foiled, the two officers who killed Colin were quietly assassinated. The experience had again reminded Harry about the cost of sending the unprepared into the field. However, wasn't the job he did about taking that risk?

Zafar Younis, the successor in his view to Danny had inevitably perhaps, met a similar fate. Zaf had been different in the fact that he'd risen through the ranks of MI5 despite being a Muslim in the era of Islamic extremism. MI5 was an organisation that coldly didn't care about their officer's personal lives unless it interfered in their business, being a non devout Muslim, the appointment of Zaf to Section D had seen raised eyebrows but no major blockade. Zaf had been just like Danny; brave, resourceful and tenacious in his work. He brought in expertise of Middle East terrorism from his time at MI6 which had been valuable to Section D. Like Danny, he'd died in a tragic circumstance. Kidnapped during an operation to transport the carrier of a virus that threatened the peace deal between the West and Iran, Zaf had been missing for months before they'd confirmed his death. Transported from terrorist to terrorist, radical group to radical group and tortured for information, Zaf had suffered a terrible fate. If Harry could have done anything to save him, he would have. Alas, Zaf couldn't have been tracked down in time, his loss a mere distraction in the greater game of peace between the West and Iran.

The greatest death to ever hit the section during his time in charge came just under a year following Zaf's disappearance; Adam Carter's sacrifice was in his mind one of the most tragic moments he'd experienced. Adam had been a rational, calm leader and someone who could motivate and inspire his staff. He was a truly excellent spy, a pillar in Section D despite his own personal problems, always overcoming barriers. Adam's loss had hit the section hard, his death part of a wider plot by the Russians to bring down the UK, they hadn't killed him, Al Qaeda had seen to that but they held back the information that could have saved him. Adam had died a heroic death, like so many others. Driving a car bomb to a safe area but not being able to escape its blast in time, Adam had died saving innocent lives. That had come at a price; his death left his son Wes an orphan. Harry remembered going to Wes' rugby game to deliver the news, the boy had known immediately. He was safe now, with his grandparents but would have to go through his life without his parents. Looking at his current Section Chief, Erin Watts, Harry hoped one day he wouldn't have to deliver the same news to her daughter Rosie. Children were so affected by their profession and never in a good way.

It wasn't long after Adam's death that not one, but two deaths came in the Section. The first was Ben Kaplan. Ben had been a journalist before becoming an MI5 officer, an extreme change of career especially for a freelance investigative journalist. Like so many of the junior officers, his life had been cut short and rarely, by someone whom they had trusted. At the point when Section D itself had been infiltrated, Ben had been given the identity of the mole, the brilliant Connie James. Connie however had worked out he knew and she slit his throat right inside Thames House itself. The autopsy showed he'd died slowly, the mess in the archive room showed that, he hadn't deserved that. Yes, at times Harry and Ben had been enemies, but when Ben had started working for Section D, he'd been a good officer and friend. Like so many he'd had potential, but ultimately that had been sniffed out.

Second came the traitor herself, Connie James had been one of the few people Harry had really trusted. That's why he'd brought her back into MI5; he'd needed an analyst he could trust after Ruth's departure. The temporary replacements hadn't been enough, Ruth's immediate successor had been murdered by a rogue MI6 officer, yet another death but she was on secondment, never really Section D. Connie's betrayal shocked him to the core, decades of trust gone like that. She'd been interested in herself. Connie; brilliant, resourceful, ingenious, the best field officer of her time, the Ros Myers of the Cold War. Unlike most traitors, she'd died in a blaze of glory, defusing a booby trapped nuclear bomb in the London Underground, her death saved London that vindicated her somewhat. She was the first not to have her name carved onto the glass wall, despite all she'd done. Traitors never got that privilege.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, another junior officer came to be the next victim. Jo Portman had managed four years on the Grid. An impressive total given the high stakes and rising body count, she too had been a journalist turned spy. Jo embodied the new generation; strong willed, sharp and intelligent. Again, potential had been snuffed out. Again, she'd been killed by a member of Section D although not intentionally. The operation where radical terrorists had seized a meeting of the world's most powerful businessmen, broadcasting their sins live on air then polling whether to execute them, threatening Western interests around the globe had been a tricky one for Section D. The Americans, Chinese and Russians were fuming it was going on; the British were trapped in the middle, it was happening on their turf. Down in the bunker, Ros and Jo had been the two officers in the crisis. Their leader was armed with a dead man switch to blow up the bunker and everyone in it, Jo had grabbed the leader but in order to stop him from detonating, she had to stand behind him to hold her grip on his hand. Ros had no choice but to shot them both. Jo had sacrificed her life to save the rest of them, the experience knocked the section hard, especially the normally ice cool Ros. Like so many before her, Jo had given everything in service including her life.

Harry lost another Section Chief not long after, his outstanding officer Ros Myers had been blown to pieces in a hotel bombing while trying to save the Home Secretary they'd suspected of being a traitor. Andrew Lawrence had been innocent, Harry's instinct had been wrong. He'd sent both of them in there; the operation had been a partial success. Section D had foiled the Nightingale conspiracy's attempt to start nuclear war between India and Pakistan by assassinating the Pakistani President but the victory had been pyrrhic. Ros had died, taking one of his best ever officers from him. Rarely did an officer of her calibre walk through the doors of Thames House, ice cool under pressure, calm and collected in making decisions, skilled and brave in the field. Despite her mistake in allying herself with Yalta and her own father's conspiracy, she'd had an immense loyalty to Britain. Loyalty was an ever better quality; she'd been an outstanding Section Chief, avoiding the rare breakdown moments that had occurred under Tom Quinn and Adam Carter. Harry had often thought, even more so than any of his Section Chief's that she could have filled his place as Head of Section if he'd resigned or retired and done the best possible job. Events however hadn't made that possible, a shame, an opportunity wasted.

The curse on the position of Section Chief hit again just under a year later, Ros' successor had been Lucas North, the obvious choice, and he'd already been Section Chief in the late nineties until his capture in Russia. He was in Harry's view now fully capable to resume his old role. Lucas had done a great job in building a new team to replace the damage from the Nightingale affair, recruiting Dimitri Levendis and Beth Bailey had been questioned but he'd been proven right. Lucas' dedication hadn't been questioned; after all he'd spent eight years in a Russian cell and still remained loyal to the UK. A highly efficient operator and expert in firearms and combat, Lucas had been the figure of experience combined with youth in Section D. Until the whole Dakar business came out, Harry would never have guessed that Lucas, the man he'd known for years wasn't even called Lucas. He was John Bateman, a man who'd murdered the real North and planted a bomb that killed hundreds, a gun for hire who'd run away and replaced the man he'd killed in MI5. The level of deception was even greater than that of Tessa, Mace, Juliet or Connie; Bateman had succeeded in deceiving MI5 for years. He'd been somebody and lost it all, his career when he gave the Albany file to the Chinese and the love of his life not long later, he'd never been lucky with women, they either left or ended up dead. Soon after Lucas/John did too, he'd tried to kill Harry but at the last second, he threw himself off the council estate roof. The deception like always had eaten his soul and reduced him to nothing, he too had lost the privilege of his name being etched onto the wall sadly enough.

Following his suspension after the Albany affair, Harry reflected on the succession of deaths in his section. As a spy you get used to it, you deal with death almost daily, whether they are friend or foe. When he returned after intervention from Home Secretary Towers, Harry pledged to himself that he'd resolve the issue of the Russian/UK partnership then find out the identity of the conspiracy behind the attempt to wreck it and then retire, hopefully with Ruth. Alas, events played a tragic course.

Tariq Masood, recruited from Google to join MI5, an expert with computers and gadgets, like Malcolm and Colin rolled into one, a bright spark in the future of MI5's technology division, he hadn't deserved to die. His death wasn't heroic, it was simply murder. He'd discovered the identity of the person behind the conspiracy and had tried to warn him, they'd latched onto him first though. Tariq had been killed by poison, he'd died slowly and before he could tell Section D what he'd discovered. His death was a great shame, he'd been so young, he'd had to work hard to bring himself up in the world and that had counted for nothing, Tariq had been unfortunate enough to cross a conspiracy that had no qualms about murder. Then again, that fate had been the gravestone of so many officers.

Finally, came Ruth, in what Harry hoped would be the last wretched death he'd have to face. Ruth Evershed was the woman he could say he loved, more so than his first wife, or Elena, or Juliet and the others who he'd dallied with in the Cold War. A rarity amongst intelligence officers was the combination of decency and brilliance, Ruth still had a semblance of humanity that could keep him grounded, keep him on the right path; she had been the most excellent analyst he'd ever seen, she deserved much better than what she got. Losing her was the bitterest blow he'd encountered; losing an officer or a Section Chief was hard but they were replaceable. Losing Ruth was much more difficult, they'd already sent a replacement, a woman named Nicola Firth who was in her late thirties, highly recommended so he was told but any replacement they sent wouldn't be enough. Nothing could replace the combination of brilliance, love, diligence and grace that Ruth had provided to him. Harry wondered for how long he could carry on this job without her counsel, Towers had said he'd continue to back Harry for however long he wanted, but without Ruth, Harry was perhaps as they said, a dead man walking.

This visit to the wall was most special; for it could be perhaps the last time he visited. His time was running out in MI5, Harry figured he'd be out before the end of the year, the Americans and Russians both wanted his head, there was only so much Towers could do to prevent that. Although the protection of the Home Secretary wasn't enough, all it would take is a Cabinet reshuffle and Towers' departure from the Home Office to finish Harry's career, somehow he didn't think a new Home Secretary would take so kindly to his predicament. This perhaps final reflection on those he'd lost from Section D over the years, the veterans such as Ruth, Connie, Adam, Ros, Lucas and Fiona to the young such as Helen, Danny, Colin, Zaf, Jo, Tariq and Ben. Not to mention the other deaths he'd seen; the traitors such as Peter Salter, Michael Collingwood, Sarah Caulfield, Nicholas Blake and Elena Gavrik to the innocent such as Sam Walker, Andrew Lawrence, Maya Lahan and Jim Coaver. Death was a spy's only friend in a way.

Regnum Defende, whatever the cost.


End file.
